What Ever Happened?
by therevolutionaryprincess
Summary: In 2012 a 62 year old James is dying of kidney cancer, however all he can think about is the summer of 1967 which he believes is the year his life changed, a story told through flashbacks to 1967 telling the story of young James Diamond and Kendall Knight
1. Chapter 1 Always 1967

Ch.1 Always 1967

James

A young blonde nurse in hot pink scrubs saunters over to where I sit hooked to a dialysis machine by a slightly open window. I am looking out over New York City, lit up like the fourth of July with bright lights shining from millions of windows and buildings.

The people down below are walking it's a Friday evening and most of them are on their way to ritzy nightclubs and small dive bars to get their fill of hedonistic pleasure, drinking, food, and music. I sigh softly as the nurse sits down in the chair next to the soft one I'm reclining in.

I'm turning the pages of a vintage _Vogue_ magazine from my personal collection, each of the pages looking exactly as they did back when I had first read it. She smiles at me, the name tag pinned to her shirt reading "Cindy".

"How are we feeling Mr. Diamond?" she asks as I close the _Vogue_ on my lap. " I'm as okay as someone who's dying can be" I run my fingers over the date on the magazine's cover '_May 1967'._

I slip it back into the plastic cover I keep it in. Cindy looks from the _Vogue_ to me moving only her green eyes. "You never know, in three months time we might have a donor for you," she said checking the clipboard in her left hand as I looked out the window again, staring down at the line of limousines and taxi cabs pulling up to a club near the corner of the street.

"They can keep their kidney, I don't want it" I reply my eyes returning to focus in on the glossy _1967_ . "Is that a vintage Vogue magazine?" she asks moving a hand to touch it slowly as if she was asking permission.

I nod and hand it to her. She giggles in fascination as she takes it out of the plastic. "1967" she whispers.

"I was 17 when I bought it, and that summer was the summer that changed my life forever," I say a lone tear rolling down my cheek to end its life on my lips. She nods and places the magazine back in its cover.

I look at the cars that are still pulling up outside the club near the corner, giving birth to young men and women dressed in the best of Gucci and clutching bags by Vuitton and Coach. I close my eyes and I'm instantly transported back to 1967.

* * *

><p><em>The ballroom of the Palmwoods Springs Country Club glitters in the early evening, soft electric lights shining brightly from the crystal fixtures in the ceiling upon swirling dresses in silk, satin, and chiffon, attached almost seamlessly to sleek tuxedos with Beatles haircuts, they swirl across the dance floor as on the sidelines parents and high society adults sip champagne and gossip. The room buzzes with chatter and soft music as another beautiful beam of light glints off diamonds and soft pearls around the necks and wrists of young debutantes. <em>

_My mother and father nudge me gently towards the crowd of younger people, closer to my age across the room, and I leave them to talk with the other adults as I nervously make my way across the room to an impeccably dressed group of three boys. The blonde of the group moves gracefully while joking with the shorter brunette and a slightly gloomy looking tan skinned companion. They're escorting a small knot of three very beautiful girls in long pale coloured evening dresses about my age out of the hall . I straighten my tuxedo, a Yves Saint Laurent, as I approach them._

"_Hey there," the taller boy says to me as I reach the group exiting the ballroom and moving to go up the marble staircase in the corridor. "Hi, I'm James Diamond, my family's new in town" I say cheerfully as the blonde extends his hand._

" _Kendall Knight," he says, million dollar smile glinting in the light. As I shake it, I stare into his beautiful green eyes for a moment. It's hard not to, and with eyes the color of Caribbean water, a few butterflies begin flitting around my stomach. _

_After joining them we travel up the stairs to one of the small sitting rooms and the shorter brown haired boy nods at me as I'm about to take a sip from the cup of punch I'd been carrying from the ballroom. "Ditch that we've got something better," he says I dump the glass out into a nearby flower vase and place it on a small side table. _

"_Logan Mitchell" he adds as I'm about to ask who he is. The boys open a bottle of champagne and fill up seven glasses. Then, Logan takes a flask from inside his tuxedo jacket and pours a small amount of a crystal clear liquor into each of the glasses. _

_We drink together and talk. As we wait for the big presentation ceremony to begin, Kendall looks at me "The war makes us short a few gentlemen this year. James, is it? We need another escort." I look over at him quizzically. "What do you mean? There are three girls and three of you" I say sipping my champagne and vodka. "No, you see Carlos isn't allowed to escort girls at this kind of ball," he says gesturing to the tan almost hispanic looking guy who's almost as tall as Logan dressed in a navy tuxedo sitting near the window looking out at the highway on the horizon._

_I nod sitting down gracefully on one of the leather couches facing each other on a lush, printed Persian carpet in deep burgundies and Kendall looks at me again. "You know this is like the most important event of the season right?" Logan adds I finish the last drop of my sparkling cocktail and I nod._

"_I know what a debutante ball is Kendall," I say, and then just like that Kendall laughs and punches me playfully in the arm "Of course you do you're one of us, James Diamond"_

* * *

><p>Cindy removes the needles from my arms. "Who's Kendall?" she asks. I look up at her as I snap out of my reverie. "An old friend" I respond.<p>

She nods. "From 1967?" she asks.

I nod. "It's always 1967."

**Author's Note: Well there it is, the first chapter of What Ever Happened? I hope you all enjoyed it the second one will follow soon. I'd like to shout out to my Amazing! beta reader GleeShadow she helped make this possible for me by cleaning up my errors and spacing issues and providing me encouragement. Positive and Negative feedback is welcome, Thanks for Reading.**


	2. Chapter 2 Breakfast At Tiffany's

Ch.2 Breakfast at Tiffany's

James

I take my French vanilla latte from the Starbucks counter, pay with my credit card and leave the cafe to hop into the next available taxi cab. The sun is only just beginning to rise and the sky is tinted pink and golden. The cab driver yawns sleepily, only slightly awake and takes another sip from his strong convenient store coffee. "Where to, Sir?" he asks.

I smile straightening my black suit, slim and fitted to my frail aged frame and take a small sip from the cardboard coffee cup. The cab hasn't quite heated up yet and the crisp chill of early March lingers in the air.

"Take me to Tiffany's on Fifth Avenue, please," I tell the cab driver who starts the fare meter and begins to drive.

The cab clicks along until finally we pull up in front of Tiffany and Co. on 5th Avenue. I thank the driver and pay the man in cash giving a generous tip. I step out of the cab into the bright orange colored morning sun.

My leather Armani shoes click against the sidewalk softly as I stare up at the majestic buildings around me and in front of me. Tiffany's is flanked by stores of the best from days of yesterday to the best of today. Designer labels glitter on storefronts selling the latest from Chanel, Gucci, Burberry, Blvgari, Dior, Nike, Yves Saint Laurent, and Prada.

Handbags, wallets, sunglasses, jewelry, and clothing light up the windows, but it's only Tiffany's I'm interested in this morning. I stare into the windows of the famous jewelry store and inhale the cool air. I sip my latte held in black cashmere gloved hands. The sunrise shimmers and is reflected in the windows and the pristine diamond jewelry of Tiffany and Co.

I remove my tortoiseshell Wayfarers and fold them with my left hand, clutching my latte in the right one. My hazel eyes reflect in the window as pure diamonds scintillate in my gaze. Suddenly, I'm falling slowly through the glass of the window.

* * *

><p><em>I'm back at Palmwoods Springs, staring into the window at …. you guessed it, Tiffany's Palmwoods Springs location. The tall marble building rises up in front of me as I clutch my cup of cold espresso from the small café up the street. <em>

_I'm wearing a pale blue polo shirt by Ralph Lauren and tan pants. The soft early afternoon light caresses millions of tiny diamonds enthroned on velvet display stands. I pull my tortoiseshell sunglasses down slightly to look over them and take another sip of my coffee before moving across the doorway to the next window. _

_There are footsteps behind me and a tap on my shoulder. I push the sunglasses back up the bridge of my nose and turn slowly._

"_Yes?" I ask._

_Before me stands Kendall Knight, from three nights ago at the Debutante Ball, the sunlight turning his blonde hair to gold and his green eyes to pale emeralds._

" _Hey. James right? Remember me? We met the other night." he says as I survey him quickly moving my eyes up and down his body. The mint green polo with a light, tailored off white blazer brings out his eye color even more and two lightly golden legs are visible underneath his slim Bermuda shorts._

_I nod "Yeah, Kendall. How have you been?" I ask nonchalantly._

"_I've been great," Kendall says as he steps over to the spot next to mine by the window of Tiffany's. "It's that one, right?" he says pointing into the window at a watch with a large circle of diamonds around the face. _

"_What?" I ask looking at him quizzically finishing the last sip of my coffee. "The watch, that's what you were so focused on in the window." He guesses but I shake my head._

"_That one's much too tacky, Kendall, do you have any taste?" I say smacking him playfully in the arm. "So what were you looking at?" he asks. _

_I smile turning back around to face away from the window. "It was just the diamonds." I sigh softly. "They cheer me up whenever I'm in a dreadful mood. I think they've done the trick for today" I explain. _

_Kendall looks at me with one bushy eyebrow raised. I smile as we begin to walk down the street away from Tiffany's. "So my mom's having a garden party this weekend, and she wanted me to invite you and your parents," he says as a cool oceanic breeze blows off of the nearby Pacific and through our hair. _

_I nod. "Of course we'll try our best to be there, but I don't know if my mother has plans." I look at Kendall. "Which reminds me I need to get over to the Chanel store, my mother ordered like a gallon of Number 5 she told me to pick it up, we're hosting a bunch of my father's friends from New York tonight," I say._

_Kendall flashes his million dollar smile and looks over at the Yves Saint Laurent store across the street as the beautiful blonde girl from the ball steps out of the shop, arms laden with bags in a champagne toned satin skirt with a chocolate brown polo on top._

_Rare deep blue pearls hang around her neck and pale pink nail polish colors her delicate fingertips. Kendall walks quickly out to meet her and leans down to kiss her softly on the cheek._

"_James, you remember Jo Taylor right?" he says_. _I nod in acknowledgement of Jo Taylor_

"_Of course I do." My stomach is fluttering with butterflies now and I can't imagine why._

"_You both take care, I've got to go. I'm expected home pretty soon," I say smiling and waving as I begin to walk away. Kendall smiles back. "See you around, James," he says, waving back as we part ways._

* * *

><p>I float back to reality just as a saleswoman unlocks the doors to the diamond mine in front of me. She smiles as she peeks out the doorway. "Having Breakfast at Tiffany's?" she asks with a giggle.<p>

I blush slightly. "It's okay, you're definitely not the first and certainly not the last to do that. We have someone almost every day come to stare in the windows before opening. They come in their black dresses and pearls, or sometimes their band tee shirts and hoodies. But they all just want that experience, the feeling of insecurity flying away." She moves to take my arm "Come inside for a bit? It's chilly out here," she says leading me towards the door.

I smile and nod. "Thank you," I say stepping into the jewelry store. "Feel free to look around, let me know if you need anything," she says.

I smile and begin to walk around the sumptuous maze of glass cases filled with all manners of jewelry; from diamonds and rare pearls to emeralds the size of your fist. I float between the cases, staring in. As I pass a set of earrings I smile. "Can I get these wrapped?" I ask the saleswoman not too far away.

She comes over and unlocks the case, pulling out the most beautiful pair of teardrop shaped diamond earrings. They are hanging from a small string of perfect pearls white as snow and shining with a rainbow tinted opalescent sheen. She nods, and reads off the price for which I promptly write a check. I thank her and exit with the small aqua colored box and get into another taxi.


	3. Chapter 3 Killer Queen

**Author's note: I apologize for the length of time it took to get this up, please read, enjoy, and review.**

Ch.3 Killer Queen 

Cindy

There are some days where Mr. Diamond cannot make it to the hospital for his treatments, or he wishes to be a bit more comfortable. On days like that, I go to his apartment on Manhattan's Upper East Side, in a lavish brownstone building. His apartment is on the second floor and we have a dialysis machine stationed in his living room though it hides in the hall closet when not in use. I sigh stepping out of the hospital van and going to the door of the apartment. Mr. Diamond gave me the key so I let myself in and take the stairs up to his apartment. I knock softly on the door and he comes to let me in almost immediately.

He's always been kind to me and though the place is warm and inviting it breaks my heart to think of him alone in his apartment all the time. Mr. Diamond's apartment is luxurious and as I set to work preparing the machine in his favorite chair by the window with a nice view of the street below, he smiles and offers to open a bottle of champagne for us to share and I accept politely. He keeps the Moet and Chandon in a specialized wine fridge in the kitchen. The apartment is small, just a living room, kitchen, and a bedroom. The whole place looks like something out of the past, there's delicate Tiffany stained glass lamps in floral and dragonfly patterns perched on small cherry wood tables at either end of a large leather sofa. They face the wall opposite the windows. There's a coffee table and the rest of the living room pieces to match the sofa and the end table. Behind the sofa, there lies a little bit of space with a piano and a wingback armchair and a bookshelf beside a dialysis machine. The window sills are laid out with lovely green ferns and terracotta potted flowers in bright colors.

The kitchen door is on the wall the piano faces, and Mr. Diamond emerges with a scalloped silver tray holding two 1960s crystal coupe-shaped glasses, a small bowl of raspberries, and a bottle of Moet and Chandon Rosé. He peels the foil off the bottle effortlessly and smiles as he untwists the wire cage holding the cork back and uses a napkin over the cork to pop the bottle open.

"There we are" he says, pouring a glass and handing it to me.

"But don't you dare take a sip until the needles are in" he jokes.

"Wouldn't want you to stick me with a tipsy hand." He sits down in the armchair and smiles balancing the tray on his legs.

"Don't worry Mr. Diamond. We've been through this hundreds of times" I say and he looks away as I insert the needles effortlessly into his well bruised arm. He winces at the touch of them but he knows it must be done.

I look for a moment upon his gaunt and delicate features, his shoulder length brown hair slightly graying. He doesn't look a day over 40 though he swears up and down that sometimes he feels like he's 90. He smiles again and uses his free hand to put the glass down and pop a few raspberries into his glass of coppery-almost-salmon pink colored bubbly.

I smile and accept the glass he has poured for me and turn to look briefly at the bookshelf. The wood is deep cherry in color like the rest of the furniture. The top three shelves hold nearly 50 years of _Vogue_ magazines in plastic covers to keep the dust off them, and as I look down, I see books cluttered about the shelves bits of paper jammed wherever they'd fit and on the middle shelves stacks and stacks of aqua blue boxes with silver 'Tiffany and Co.' lettering.

Mr. Diamond laughs. "I spend a lot of time at Tiffany's darling, they've all got things in them, too" he says sipping on his champagne. I look at them slightly open mouthed with wonder.

"Actually, take the small box in front of all the rest and don't open it until you get home" he says. I go to decline but he shushes me and insists that I take the box.

"Cindy, darling, I wouldn't miss it one bit. That shelf is nothing compared to the small fortune I've got stored in diamonds in my bedroom closet" he says a little too trusting. But then again I've been his nurse for over a year now and I wouldn't dream of doing anything that would be considered unprofessional.

"Do you remember Friday?" he asks daintily eating the raspberries from his glass.

"Yes, Mr. Diamond." I say

"You asked about Kendall, and I know it was a silly thing to mention him but now I feel like I have to tell you the truth." I'm leaning against the bookshelf fiddling with the satin ribbon on my Tiffany's box.

"Now Cindy, sit down and pour yourself another glass, I've got a story to tell you" I sit down on the piano stool and take up his offer of more bubbly. _

James, Flashback

_The garden shines green in the late afternoon light. It's just after three o'clock and people have filled the backyard of the Knights' home. A sumptuous buffet of hors d'oeuvres has been laid out adjacent to the in ground swimming pool surrounded by beautiful stone patio set with small tables set with ivory linens and silver that glistened in the sunlight. The bar sits across the pool from the buffet, and there's quite a long line for drinks. My parents have joined the ranks of other parents huddled around the patio and chattering mindlessly about things like new cars and complimenting each other's ensembles for the afternoon. _

_My father is introducing one of his friends from New York to people and I'm standing off to the side with a younger girl who has to be about 13, her long brown hair is pulled back in a ponytail adorned with a white ribbon, she's wearing a white sleeveless knee length dress reminiscent of what some of the older girls are wearing and small pearl earrings. She folds her arms and slouches a little bit. _

"_So what are you in for?" she asks in a solemn voice as she shoots a glare towards where her mother is greeting guests. _

_I laugh softly. "Life without chance of parole" I joke back. "But why do you look so upset? Why don't you go play with them?" I ask nodding my head towards the small group of kids running around wildly, engaged in a game of tag on the lawn. _

_She looks at me "Because I'm too old for that" she blows a strand of hair out of her face. " Aren't you one of Kendall's friends?" she asks. "I guess you could call it that" I say, Kendall never really said we were friends in fact I barely knew him at this point. "I'm James by the way my family's sort of new around here" I add, she looks up at me locking onto my eyes with her light milk chocolate colored eyes "Katie Knight, Kendall's my brother" she says extending her hand and I shake it gently before walking away to see where the others are. _

_Logan smiles weakly as I pass him "Hey James" he says, I smile. _

"_Hey Logan" I reply we walk off silently off towards the tennis courts down the neatly manicured lawn obscured mostly by a row of square hedges. Logan turns to me. _

"_I'm getting a new car this week," he says with a smile. I nod. _

"_Really? Well that sounds nice". _

"_Well it's not really new it's my Dad's spare convertible from '61, but it still works, and the color is the most vibrant red, I can't wait to take Camille out in it". _

"_That sounds great. I don't have a car yet but my Father collects cars so we have four with us now, and he keeps three in New York. I'm kind of afraid to drive," and then out of a grove of hedges emerges Kendall's head silently motioning us towards the hole in the greenery. _

_We follow him and end up sitting on a small blanket he has spread out [you have to keep the clothes nice] and he smiles. _

"_Look what I've nicked from the bar" Kendall says holding up a bottle of whiskey and a rocks glass which he fills to the brim and takes a sip from before passing it to Logan. _

"_This is only thing that'll make tonight bearable, trust me, James" Logan says as he passes the now half full glass to me. I take a good long drink, I'm no prude. I love the stuff. Kendall stashes the bottle away when we've all gotten slightly tipsy we decide to emerge from the hedges to walk towards the rest of the guests, warmed by the liquor. _ _Mom passes me a glass of champagne when I rejoin the crowd of chattering people on the patio. _

"_James is graduating from art school next year, isn't that right darling?" my mom informs Mrs. Mitchell. Kendall's standing next to my his arm around my shoulders loosely draped, _

"_You can draw buddy?" he asks and I respond with a soft nod. _

"_I'm not very good," I add. Modesty is admirable when you're playing the game like the rest of the people here, I hate my mom's bragging, about how perfect her son is but this is the game at its' finest the more you have to show off the better._

_Dinner is served promptly once everyone has found their place card at a table, and oddly I'm not seated with my parents but rather across from Kendall, sharing a table with Logan and this chick Camille who I recognize from the Deb. Ball. Kendall smiles as the sunset finishes along the horizon and _L'heure bleue_ casts its' romantic glow upon the third course, the last one before a sumptuous dessert of pastries and fresh berries and a final pour of champagne rounds the evening off perfectly. Kendall and I make good conversation through dinner with Camille and Logan's occasional break from flirting to input. _

_When we finally stand up, though I have eaten sparingly, I still feel weighted by the food. Kendall guides Jo out on the dance floor that has now been designated on the grass marked by small colored spotlights anchored in the grass. Logan and Camille dance together as well, I look on envious almost of the established connections and relationships in Palmwoods Springs._ _I feel lonely deep inside, and begin to walk towards the house, lingering at the door for a moment._

"_Kendall needs to man up" one of the other fathers comments. Mr. Knight nods "He's way too sensitive, I hate to think of him mistaken for some queer out in the world". _

"_Has he even slept with Jo, yet?" Mr. Garcia adds. _

_The other voice responds "I've given them so many opportunities to fuck like rabbits, but they barely even kiss. The help tells me when we leave them alone together the most they do is invite their friends over and have a few drinks." Mr. Knight seems angry. _

"_I just don't know what to do with him anymore, he's competitive but without the drive to win at any cost. When I was his age, I had all the fathers in town hiding their daughters from me, Kendall's not the same." I frown slightly to feel a lone tear rolling down my cheek and as I leave through the front of the house and begin walking down the sidewalk suddenly as I turn the corner, I spot Kendall holding onto Logan. Shit my escape plan's been foiled._

_Kendall pulls me in as I pass by and whispers in my ear. "Logie's brother's draft number's been called up he's going to war." I shake my head and ruffle Logan's hair. "It'll be okay Logan." I try my best to comfort him._

"_Kendall I'll tell you what, get your car ready, and I'll meet you down on the pier at the beach in 20 minutes with a case of champagne. We'll have Logan here feeling celestial in no time." I smile as Kendall nods. "Deal, Diamond. A whole case!" His eyes light up. "Mom and Dad trust me a little too much with the keys to the wine cellar." I laugh and run off in the direction of my house._


	4. Chapter 4 The Waves

Ch.4 The Waves

James

The car arrives outside my apartment building,I lock the place up and go downstairs. The clouds are greying above as I hurry to the car. The driver helps me in and then loads my black Louis Vuitton carry-on luggage bag in the trunk. The car is an elegant black Toyota Avalon, spacious and luxurious, with champagne colored leather upholstery and tinted windows. I'm dressed in a black cashmere turtleneck sweater,black pants, and italian leather oxford style shoes. Raindrops splatter the windows of the car, as we begin to get out of the city, and begin the two hour drive to the Hamptons for the weekend I'm trying to do as much as I can before I need dialysis even more frequently. I close my eyes and fall into a light sleep, as we drive along, up the state slightly.

The car rolls to a stop, in front of a sumptuous beach house, Viva la Hamptons. I'm awake about half an hour before the stop, I pay the driver in cash after he retrieves my bag from the trunk, tipping him car drives away as I walk towards the house. The door opens and a figure rushes down from the porch across the pebbled drive and wraps her arms around me.

"Good Evening, Miss Knight" I address the woman.

A 58 year old Katie Knight stands before me, her hair cut to a platinum bob, she's gracefully skinny and her nails are neatly manicured in a pale nude pink, with a very thin ivory french tip.

She wears a grey draped style evening gown of a shimmering and sheer material and grey satin Louboutins with a low heel. She's decked out in jewels with several layers of iridescent pearls falling around her neck, chandeliers of diamond dangle from her ears, and she wears three platinum rings on each hand different sizes,cuts, and amounts of diamonds on each.

"Hello Mr. Diamond" she says giving a soft curtsey a twinkle in her green eyes.

"come inside darling, before you catch a chill out here" she beckons and we go into the house.

"you changed your hair color again Katie" I say with a laugh

"blonde hides the grey better" she replies.

The inside of the house is familiar, decorated in pale blues,soft taupes, greys, and white. The furniture is extracted directly from the past styled 60s chic, and well taken care of like it had been built just yesterday. Katie's maid takes my bag to my room and we sit down in the dining room at a long oak table that could seat a maximum of 10 guests comfortably, there's a tablecloth and a few candles on the table. Katie's one of the only people I have left, and my only connection to Kendall. She's been living in the Hamptons, since the death of her parents' a few years ago. We reconnected and sometimes we get together, to think about the past.

Katie brings dinner out and lays it on the table. Fresh italian bread from a local bakery, Caesar salad, lobster with lots of butter, and new england style crabcakes cover the table. Katie fills two wine glasses made of delicate Waterford with mineral water.

"this looks amazing Katie" I say

Katie smiles pridefully, " I spent the first 18 years of my life in Palmwoods Springs, you know as well as anyone that I know how to entertain James"

"I know but you never cease to amaze me, your taste in everything is just perfect" I reply

Katie punches me in the arm playfully. " amaze you? this is so simple compared to what we were used to back in the day".

After dinner, we go out to the porch in the back as the sun hangs low in the sky almost disappearing beneath the waves. There's a light of orange,pink, and gold over the violent waves, Katie and I share coffee and small pastries as we stare over one of the old photo albums, waves crash to the shore. We reminisce late into the night. The candles on the small table finally burn out. I help Katie take everything inside and do what I can to help her clean up, it's the least I can do. I hug Katie goodnight and go upstairs to the guest room. I take my pills and get into bed.

I lay in the guest bedroom, warm underneath the lush blankets, in my plush navy pajama set . The wind whistles outside rattling the windows as the storm returns and rain sings me to sleep.

Kendall

_Palmwoods Springs is a beautiful place, beautiful but suffocating. It only rains a few days out of the whole year here. Today the sun is shining bright outside, Logan and I pull on our bathing suits and pack Logan's car with all the things we need for a beach day, towels surf boards, liquor. We drive out picking up James along the way. He's beautiful, tanned bronze from hours of sun worship daily. James doesn't believe in sunscreen, unlike Logan who uses it religiously. _

"_what if in the future we find out the sun is really a harmful thing? and tans aren't healthy?" Logan argues. James laughs "The sun is magic Logie-bear" his new nickname for Logan. _

"_The sun makes things grow, warms the earth, it's beautiful" James finishes. _

_We drive right down on the beach, stop the car and spread our stuff out, a large blanket, and our towels on the warm sand. We pull our shirts off James exposing a softly toned body that I can't keep my eyes off of for a moment. _

_We pull our surf boards from the truck and rush to catch some of the most amazing waves around. We surf for a few hours, and sea salt crusts to our skin, Carlos joins us on the water._

_I get out for a little bit and James comes with me. Carlos surfs better than all of us at least until James showed up. I lay down on the sand arms out, and James throws himself down next to me._

"_Today is perfect" I say flashing a smile at James. _

"_It's like there's nothing else in the world, just the four of us." James replies._

"_like there's no war, no society, just the waves" James says._

_I nod. _

_We sit there in silence for what seems like an hour though it's only a few minutes and then return to the blanket, James dries himself as best as possible, and then removes a small sketch pad bound in leather from his canvas beach bag, and a pencil._

_I lay next to him talking quietly, as he gets a zoned out look in his eyes and begins to move the pencil along crisp paper. I smile and gently reach my hand out for the pad._

"_can I look James?" I ask, he nods and flips back to the first page. _

_I delicately flip through the pages, beautiful images immortalized in pencil. Images the world would never see, impressionist genius, drawn from life. Then after all the previously used pages, a rough, lightly lined sketch of my body. _

"_James" I whisper my fingertips brush his hand._

"_you see things, people, the world" I whisper._

_James blushes, "they're not very good Kendall" he replies_

"_no James, your mom was right. You're an artist" I say_

"_but It's not who I want to be! James exclaims and as he moves to take the sketch pad from my hand another sketch, falls from between the folds, one that hadn't been with all the others._

_I pick it up._

"_who's this?" I ask. I study the drawing, a young man, muscled with dark wavy hair falling around his face, wearing a tight black button down, and black pants. A shadow of stubble is visibly drawn around the man's chin. He's playing a cello, the others around him roughly drawn in shadow, the stage lighting realistic. His eyes are brooding and dark. _

_James shakes his head, and pulls it gently through my fingers._

"_you took your time on this one, it's not like the others" I press on._

"_he's just some stranger, I got bored at the orchestra one night" James says_

"_I don't want to talk about it Kendall" _

"_so which is it? is he a stranger, or do you not want to talk about it?" I respond_

"_I know who he is and I don't want to talk about it" James finishes the conversation and tucks the drawing back into the sketch pad.  
><em>

James

The next morning Katie has planned brunch on the beach, and the sun is shining beautifully, last night's rain has dried up by mid-morning except for a few random puddles. The air outside is warm, I open the window as I dress lightly in pastel colors and some tan chino pants. I go outside and walk down to the beach enjoying the breeze and the smell of saltwater in the air.

I sit down at the round table set for two with enough food for four. I look over at Katie over my mimosa.

" Katie, I have something to tell you" I say

"I'm not just here for a weekend vacation Katie, I'm dying"

She takes a moment to take it all in.

"how much longer do you have James?" she asks

" the doctors say six months"

I explain the delicate complications of my cancer and that I'd need a kidney transplant to survive.

"six months." Katie whispers to herself before rushing around the table to put her arms around me. "I just thought you should know" I whisper into her ear.

Katie pulls away.

"but what if I get tested? to see if I'm a match?" Katie suggests

I put my hand over hers, " I couldn't ask that of you after all you've done for me"


	5. Chapter 5 The Purple Velvet Box

Chapter 5 The Purple Velvet Box

James

I spend two days with Katie, and then it's time for me to depart back to the City. I wake up early, shower, and dress, just a white button down, some jeans and a blazer today. I'm sitting on the bed, looking out at the sea through the large window for one last time. I probably won't live to see it again. I feel a hand on my shoulder. Katie stands behind me in a knee length navy dress with three quarter sleeves falling in her elbow. A scent fills my nose wafting delicately from her skin, buttery tuberose and florals.

"What are you wearing?" I ask "it's familiar".

Her lips brushed against my ear as she whispers, "Fracas, but keep it quiet it's a secret, a lady never shares her scent".

She sits down next to me holding my hand in one of hers. "I have something for you, wait just a minute". She rushes from the room quickly with a smile. When she returns she's bearing a long, flat rectangular box of purple velvet, the kind that would be used for jewelry or something precious. I've seen boxes like this before, receiving and purchasing them often, especially back in the 60s. She hands it to me gracefully, "I found this when my mom died last year, I couldn't remember where I've seen it before for a long time, but your visit reminded me."

* * *

><p><em><span>Kendall<span>_

_I look around the room I'm sitting in now, a large bedroom. The floor is a dark brown hardwood, polished up so shiny I can see my face in it, There's a sitting area near the balcony with two dark leather couches and a rich red themed persian rug. The large, four poster bed lies in the center of the room, the curtains portraying a similar oriental pattern to the rug and the bedding in red and gold. I'm sitting next to James on a leather ottoman in front of a dark wood dressing table with a large mirror. James is smiling as he fixes his hair with what he calls his 'lucky comb''. _

_I'm just sitting there messing with my hair and my clothes, trying to get things to look as perfect as he does, but I'm failing. _

_The evening sun shines brightly through the large french doors at the balcony, as James straightens his tuxedo for the evening and pulls forward a baccarat crystal bottle in the shape of an urn, with a blue fan shaped crystal stopper a gold tassel hung around the neck of the bottle. It's half finished, I note to myself. He pulls the stopper out and gives an elegant and feminine dab at each of his wrists and across his throat. I stand and begin to walk towards the balcony sighing lightly. _

"_Thanks for inviting me tonight James" I say. _

"_Don't worry about it Kendall, It's nice to have a friend here with all my fathers' friends from New York. Besides my Mom insisted you show up, and you do not say no to my mother" James responds. _

"_you've never told her no?" I ask._

"_once, and I regretted it instantly" James replies_

"_should we go downstairs?" I ask_

_James nods._

_We head for the staircase, and soon I'm in a wood paneled dining room, with a baroque painted ceiling, complete with gilded mirrors on the walls. _

"_Mom wanted kind of a Versailles theme here, Dad couldn't help but hire the best architects, and painters to fulfill it for her" he said, he must have noticed my amazement looking up at the ceiling. _

_Three large glittering crystal bedecked candelabras are placed in the center of the table dividing it into thirds. I find my place card across from James' seat and stand by my chair._

_The other guests begin to arrive minutes after. James' Mother takes the spot nearest to the head of the table where his Father is seated. A party of about eight files into the room and James makes sure we're introduced. There's Mr. Fischer a fit man of about 40 and his young blonde Parisian mistress Collette Dubois wearing the finest black silk dress from Chanel. _

_James whispers across the table with a devilish smile "he's leaving his wife for her, it's been quite the scandal". _

_Then there are Mr. and Mrs. Ross, Mr. Ross was Mr. Diamond's business partner and an old friend from Harvard. There's Mr. Hindenberg, Mr. Goldstein and their wives, though you can tell by the way James' mother looks at them she doesn't trust them. The women are in elegant evening dresses, each one with a strand or two of pearls, or a diamond necklace. The men in tuxedos James in Navy instead of harsh black, making a fashionably elegant contrast to them all._

_The first course is cold oysters and champagne, and Mrs. Ross can't seem to stop undressing me with her eyes from her spot on one side of James, Collette is at my left across from her. Collette and James both share matched expressions of glee and long conversation in French during this time, about opera, and plays, though I don't do well in French so I can't exactly tell what they're saying. The main course is prime rib roast, a crown rack of lamb, with mashed potatoes, and gravy, and different vegetables around the table. _

_James is in his element completely, they love him, he was the star of it all. He gossi[s Idly with the wives flashing his gorgeous white smile, and complimenting gowns not making a secret of his disdain for Mrs. Ross' gown of mint green chiffon, floor length, and made of a floaty shapeless material. "garish" being the word of choice. He then helps me kill a debate with the other men at the table who are attempting to criticize the hippies, and the rock and roll movement. _

_Dessert concludes the meal with fancy fruited jello molds of many colors, fancy pastries, with mountains of whipped cream, and a pour of cognac for the males at the table, and champagne cocktails for the ladies. A toast is made, to some large business affair that Mr. Diamond is finishing, and raking in the money over it. Another toast given by James to Mrs. Diamond for putting together a wonderful meal. I indulge in the sweets, James overindulges, with a childlike wonder and the biggest goofy smile is painted on his face._

_James and I leave shortly after, James shaking the hands of the gentlemen at the table, and kissing the gloved hands of the ladies. James father smiles and as we pass whispers "there's a bottle of scotch in the cabinet for you boys if you want it" James nods, kisses his mother goodnight and we exit together. _

_James collects the bottle and a glass, and both of us throw on a pair of jeans and grey sweatshirts. We take a blanket and go down to the beach, we leave our shoes and socks behind in the house. The Diamonds' home glitters, with light from the windows, warming the dark and cold sand, being right on the beach side of town. James and his family had direct access from their home. James sets up the blanket, and we pour the first glass each of us holding it with one of our hands between us. James' smile sparkles as we pass it back and forth, silently looking at the stars._

"_some dinner, eh James?" I say passing him the glass back. James pulls a small shiny cigarette case from his pocket, he strikes a match and lights it. _

"_you don't mind right?" he asks_

_I shake my head "nah we're outside, it's kind of windy anyway" _

"_I...uh didn't know you spoke French" I finally say_

"_I spent my summers in Paris when I was younger, still do love Paris" James said._

"_There's never a bad time to visit Paris, you know?" _

_I smile softly. "it's the arts that attract you right?" I ask_

_James nods and takes a drag on his cigarette, "it's art, music, plays, opera" he speaks each of these words as if they're holy, in a whispered and airy tone, _

_We talk about art and music, and I talk about boy stuff like sports and girls. _

_Then suddenly half the bottle is gone, and the stars are closer than they've ever been before. James' hazel eyes sparkle more than usual under the influence._

_I lean my head gently towards his shoulder, and put my arm around his waist. _

_James doesn't seem to mind. He smells delicious, smokey, musky and vanillic with the alcohol mixing in with his breath. He's goofy at this point almost aloof, but so sensual and gorgeous._

_Moments later his lips are on mine. Pointed white teeth nip at my bottom lip, James' hips pinning me under him, pinning me to the blanket over the soft sand. _

"_mmmm, unghhh, James" I moan as his hips grind into mine, then both of our shirts are off. _

_Hot tanned flesh, against cold pale flesh, creating electricity, like thousands of volts shimmering on the surface of our skin and jolting between us. James struggles to free his erection from his tight them aside and moving his lips down my chest, and in a line down my tummy._

_James opens my pants with his teeth and works them down with skilled tan hands. Our tight white underpants the only thing stopping our bodies from being completely naked under the stars. My lips are at his collarbone, dusting light fluttery kisses across bronze flesh. James has worked my underwear down around my knees and is now pumping my seven inches of tightly circumcised ivory cock in his bare hand, just a lick of the palm to act as lubrication. My hands go to his beautiful eight inch cock, tan as the rest of his body, naughty boy must tan naked or something. I'm stroking him and he's stroking me, we're writhing and moaning finally James takes my hands and forces them above my head, pinning them in place. He's fucking his cock into mine. His lips reach my throat, sucking, purple bruises come up along the artery. James sucks and nips at the bare flesh of my throat. Then seconds later James was grunting and sweating and shaking as his orgasm flows through his body and sticky whiteness fills the gap between us, I thrust up into it for one last time and a wave of pure ecstasy crashes over me, I'm moaning, writhing beneath him, and my cock becomes super sensitive. We lick each other clean, put our clothes back on and I fall asleep in his arms under the stars, the last thing to grace my vision, James smoking a cigarette and taking a swig from the bottle._

* * *

><p>Katie watches as I pry the lid of the box up, and there laying majestically in rich purple velvet, a baccarat crystal bottle shaped like an urn, with a blue fan shaped stopper, the gold tassel glittering around the neck of the bottle.<p> 


	6. Chapter 6 I'm a Queer

**Author's Note: Hi, I just want to say thank you to all of my readers and all of my generous reviewers. I really hope this story is living up to your expectations we're probably about 1/4th of the way in, so please enjoy this chapter. and thank you so much  
><strong>

Chapter 6. 

James

I kiss Katie once more on the cheek and then without much else said she presses the velvet box into my hands, and reminds me not to forget it. I ride in the Silver Mercedes Benz that Katie called for me, the velvet box on my lap. The box radiates a smouldering scent of rich smoky, vanilla, and powdery iris.

I tip the driver when I get to my place and he helps me take my bags up, earning a little extra onto his tip. I toss my suitcases into the bedroom, and change into my pajamas. I take my pain pills, and my cancer pills, a little extra because I should have been back earlier for dialysis. I look to my dressing table, the very same from the old house in Palmwoods Springs. There's a bottle of Shalimar, my signature scent in the baccarat bottle, with the blue cap. I sit down, wrapping my luxurious silk robe around my frail body, and tap the stopper to my wrists and in the corners of my elbows, inhaling as the opening of bergamot and citrus catches the air.

I fall back on the large bed, with the black silk covered headboard, I pull the luxurious bedding over me and fall asleep in my own cloud of memories.

* * *

><p><em><span>James<span>_

_It had been awkward, and a week had gone by without hearing anything from Kendall. I sit down at a cafe downtown, I'm eating a small salad. Suddenly there's a flash of green, and blonde hair. The seat across from me is occupied, and for a moment there is silence._

"_James" Kendall whispers _

"_we need to talk" I reply not bothering to look up from this month's edition of Vogue._

"_James, what happened the other night?" Kendall asks quietly._

_I shrug, turning a page. "we were drunk, I was looking for affection" I respond_

"_James, that was the best sex I've ever had" Kendall says, he's blushing, his pale cheeks tinted red, my confidence picks up at that, and I smile pridefully. Kendall reaches his hand towards mine and I allow him to take it. "I'm confused" Kendall says_

"_I mean, I've fucked Jo Taylor so many times,but..." he trails off. _

"_none of those times has it ever been."he pauses for words "sensual" _

_I give Kendall a half smile "that was sensual?" I stare at Kendall's beautiful full lips for moment._

_The waiter returns with a cold Coca-Cola for Kendall with a straw. Kendall kindly thanks the man, and then begins to suck on the straw, his voluptuous pink lips soon moist._

"_I mean Kendall, we were drunk" I picked up as soon as the man walked off._

"_James, I'm a queer" Kendall blurts out, as quietly as possible, his blush deepening to a tomato red hue. I lift his hand to my lips and kiss it softly._

"_I am too"._


	7. Chapter 7 I Want To Be Forgotten

Ch.7 I Want To Be Forgotten.

James

I don't dream at all my first night home, except for that one memory, that revelation one of the most sacred moments I shared with Kendall. I have dialysis this morning and I'm in a slight amount of pain, I drink orange juice, and cook myself breakfast. _Kendall always loved when I cooked breakfast. _I sit down silently, in the living room with my plate, and a coupe style champagne glass filled with orange juice. This morning I was having French toast, with strawberries and lots of powdered sugar on top, I love sweet things, when I was younger sometimes all I'd eat all day were lavish pastries, Macarons, cannoli, I smile thinking back fondly. When I'm finished I clean up the house, slip into some comfortable [but fashionable] clothes.

The Toyota Avalon is waiting for me, to take me to the hospital for my session. The ride is long with the city traffic, but uneventful. Cindy is happy to see me, and helps me over to a chair by the window, where most of my sessions take place. They run through the usual routine check-up and Cindy does her job with the needles and the machine. I wince and look away, I hate needles more than anything else. When I'm settled and not looking at the machine, or my right arm, Cindy comes to sit down by me.

"So how was your trip to the Hamptons?" she asks smiling brightly

"It was wonderful, Katie Knight's an old friend, has the most lovely house, right on the beach" I reply. "it was a little chilly, but we had a nice visit" I finish.

"and you felt alright?" she asks

I nod "a little tired Cindy, worn out, but not too much pain" I say taking a deep breath.

Cindy's face lights up, as she removes her hand from her clipboard.

The light catches on something glittery placed on the ring finger of her delicate left hand.

"I got engaged over the weekend, Brad and I went to our favorite restaurant and he put the ring on top of the cheesecake we were sharing while I was at the ladies' room" she says.

My eyes light up, and a smile crosses my face.

"That sounds so darling, I'm happy for you" I say.

Cindy thanks me and then stands up and says she has to go check on some of the other patients but she'll be back in a little while.

The television flashes in front of me, a pretty female news reporter is standing in front of my apartment building. "We've received dreadful news recently, from an anonymous correspondent, Mr. James Diamond, world famous artist, dancer, and philanthropist, 62 years old, and residing in this brownstone behind me, has recently been diagnosed with life threatening kidney cancer, of a very rare type, Mr. Diamond has been an asset to our city, close friend of the widely respected former mayor Logan Mitchell, patron of the arts, and philanthropist to many causes especially HIV/AIDS charities, donating nearly a quarter of his yearly income, for the past 43 years."

I look up to notice Cindy had been standing there for a little while, "you've done all that Mr. Diamond?" she asks. I nod, for the past year since my diagnosis and treatment began I'd been trying to keep the fact I was dying a secret, I'd been a celebrity, though most people on the streets wouldn't know me, I debuted my first art exhibition in Manhattan during the fall of 1969, impressionist interpretations of my life so far, things like the war in Vietnam, Stonewall, There was love in some of these, while others were fueled by mourning and darkness. I became more famous for my art and dancing in the 70s, and a bit into the 80s, considered a master of ballet at the time, a prodigy really because I'd only picked it up in '68 when I was 18 years old.

I turned to the TV as Cindy sat down next to me, to hold my hand pictures crossed the screen, some of my notable paintings, a photograph of me in Paris at 19 standing in front of the Eiffel tower looking chic and youthful with an even more chic Katie on my arm. Finally a picture flashed of four boys in Palmwoods Springs Country Club, Carlos, Logan, me in the middle, and Kendall grinning widely with his arm around me.. "We're going to be doing a small one hour feature on Mr. Diamond, if he would allow us to interview him, as well as some of the people in his life." I looked at Cindy.

"did you speak to them?" I ask, closing my eyes for a moment, trying to shake off some of the memories. Cindy squeezes my hand with her own.

"it wasn't me, it's illegal for a doctor or anyone else in the hospital to release personal information like that" she says, and the look on her face she's as shocked as I am, definitely telling the truth.

The rest of my session passes in silence, Cindy leaves a few times to check up on other patients, distribute things like pillows and blankets and other hospital duties.

"I didn't know you were...famous" she adds with a smile. " lets get you finished up here , and I'll have the hospital minivan take you home to avoid attracting any more attention to you" I nod and close my eyes as she removes the needles and patches me up.

I hug Cindy when we get to the hospital van. "now Brad and I are having an engagement party, two weekends away, we want you to be there" She says as I'm getting in. I turn my smile on one more time "James Diamond wouldn't miss a party for the world".

**Author's Note: Sorry for the lack of flashbacks in this chapter, I'm considering writing the next chapter from a Cargan point of view with a flashback. I hope you enjoyed reading the chapter and I would love it if you would review, and thank you to those who have been consistent at reviewing I love reading your feedback.**


	8. Chapter 8 The Story

Ch. 8 The Story

Carlos.

The moon streams through the window of the bedroom, the pristine white satin sheets and large white down comforter glow almost a fluorescent blue. I had shushed the alarm clock a few seconds ago, it was time to start my day. I move to get out of bed, but a pale arm holds me tighter to his bare warm chest. I smile to myself and then whisper in his ear.

"Logie, I've got to go to work, let me get up" his grip loosens enough to let me get out of the bed and I lean over to kiss his cheek and once I've gotten out of our bed, I kiss the back of his hand softly before slipping a pillow under his arm and putting it down. The pillow we spray with my cologne so Logan can still pretend I'm sleeping with him when I have to go to work early.

I get out of the hot shower, and wrap a towel around my waist. I run my wrist over the mirror to clear some of the steam, I take my showers scalding. I begin to lather up my face for shaving, I shave sleepily but I've done this so many times at four in the morning that it's easy and I don't cut myself at all. I rinse my face and pat it dry with one of the fluffy white towels in our bathroom, Logan wanted the white for our bedroom and bathroom, being obsessed with neatness, and somehow white just appealed to him. I picked the fluffy towels though.

I pause after removing the towel from my face, and stare into the mirror for a few minutes. I don't look old, but I'm sixty-three as of last month. My dark cognac colored eyes stare back at me, a slight sparkle to them. Soft laughing lines have formed around my eyes over the years. I smile to myself, that's where the wrinkles have formed around my smile lines and around my eyes. I wipe away a tear.

* * *

><p><em>I'm sitting near my mom's hospital bed, she's breathing softly. I'm holding her hand barely able to breathe. Logan's next to me his arm around my waist. I turn to him and whisper "Logan go get us some coffee I need a minute with my mom" he nods, pecks my cheek and leaves. My mother looks into my eyes, raising a hand to touch my cheek.<em>

"_Carlitos" she addresses me I look into her eyes, my eyes. _

_She looks beautiful and youthful even though she's in her 70s she looks like a latin american version of Audrey Hepburn, her white hair is twisted into an elegant chignon at the nape of her neck behind the right ear, pinned in place with one of her jeweled combs. Diamonds adorn her ears, she wore those earrings on her wedding day. She's wearing a simple white silk dress, and her makeup is done, a flattering neutral shadow over her eyelids with black Mod-styled eyeliner and a pretty terracotta lip color. She's wearing Miss Dior, her signature scent, she hoarded it in the 60s, so she'd have enough to last her lifetime, and now, just a splash remains in the bottle on the hospital dresser. _

"_Carlitos, I need to tell you something important" she whispers softly I lean my face close to hers, my lips brushing her cheek._

"_I'm listening Mami" I whisper in return_

_She places her hand on my cheek her wedding ring cold against my warm skin as hot tears begin to run down my face._

"_I'm sorry mijo, about everything that happened when you were a teenager" she was crying now too. "you know things were different then, we had discrimination to deal with already, and here my only son was dating a white boy, nevermind the complications with loving another boy we already dealing with" She breathes a shallow breath. "you are strong Carlitos"  
>I choke back a loud sob, "I love you" I whisper, "I don't even think about the stuff you and Papi did to keep me from Logan" I allow the sob to escape "things were scary then, they would have killed both of us, and you didn't want to lose your baby, and you didn't want his mother to lose hers" <em>

"_I've never not been proud of you Mijo" she whispers then kisses me on the cheek her arm reaches up to wrap around me. "you can't take back the past, Carlos, I know there's guilt in your heart for James, and for Kendall, but those things happened for a reason. I love you honey" _

_She closes her eyes, and I stand from my spot as the machines beep and flatline. The last thing I remember was taking the small bottle of perfume from the dresser and returning home with it, crying silently the whole time. I used to put a few drops of it on, Logan helped track down other vintage bottles eventually, I'd fall asleep wearing it sometimes when I was lonely._

* * *

><p>I snap out of my memory as I begin to drive, I was going to be late and I'm working on an important case. I'm driving through the Mansion District of Palmwoods Springs where the once opulent homes of us and the people we once knew had stood, at the present sits crumbling foundations, and overgrown walls. Some of the houses are no longer there, demolished by the city for expensively empty waterfront lots that never sold. Once neatly manicured gardens now lay tangles of rose bushes,hedges,ivy and trees. Windows had been broken out over the years by prankster teenagers, or drug fiends looking for a sheltered place to shoot up in a storm. It was depressing and the ghosts of this area still haunted me, but on mornings like this morning I was nostalgic.<p>

Logie and I had moved back after he finished his two terms as Mayor in New York City, and that was almost a decade ago. Logan was one of the best and most celebrated people to ever run the City, and James, was dancing and painting and working the 'tortured artist' vs 'indulgent prince' archetypes interchangeably. I smile fondly remembering how James could paint some things that were twisted, pieces of his shattered heart, and then dance like a swan and party like Holly Golightly.

I pull into the police station as normal, and go into my office, first one on the scene as always. I put on my glasses and drink my coffee slowly, looking over the paperwork on my case. I make a few trips to the morgue throughout the day, I return for lunch after testifying in a child abuse trial.

I'm sitting at my desk opening the container that Logie prepared for me, I look at the salad in front of me and the tiny container of oil and vinegar dressing, Logan being motherly again making sure I stay on my diet. I sigh a little when I notice he's put a chocolate chip cookie in my lunch bag as well, just one though. I could pretend though as Logie always said, that I was eating a corndog, I haven't had a corndog in 5 years since they found my high cholesterol. I miss corndogs.

I eat the cookie first, because I always have dessert first and Logie's cookies are so good that I can just pretend the whole salad is a cookie. The phone rings next to me and I reach to answer.

"Hello, Commissioner Garcia-Mitchell" I answer the phone

A woman's voice is distinct on the other line.

"I've had an envelope mailed to your office sir, you were supposed to sign for it this morning has it arrived?" the woman is polite, and I dig through my little 'in' tray on my desk before pulling out a small orange envelope.

" yes, it has Miss." I respond tearing open the seal, and removing a photograph,I stared down at four of the most familiar faces in the world. Logie and I stood to the left of the photograph, Logie close to James, and Kendall with his arm around James' waist. We're smiling filled with effervescent energy. A small beveled diamond ring sits on James' left hand. I smile and wipe away a single tear that trickles down my cheek and threatens to drip from my chin.

"excuse me?" I ask into the phone having taken only a moment to observe it.

"I'm running a private investigation for a documentary, film, we've tracked some people down, it appears that only 4 of the 1967 residents of Palmwoods Springs are still living." the woman speaks quietly. "Jo Taylor, deceased of breast cancer alone in a trailer in Kentucky. Jett Stetson was killed in 2001 working in a stock firm at the World Trade Center, Camille Roberts is untraceable, it's almost as if she never existed." she pauses for a moment and then takes a deep breath"No, Commissioner Garcia, there's a mystery to be unraveled here. I've got a case of my own here, Kendall Knight was reported deceased during the war. The Mansion District in Palmwoods springs is abandoned, and run down, Tiffany and Co. closed in '80 and something tells me Palmwoods Springs is falling apart. And Mr. James Diamond just sits holed up in his apartment in The City, he only goes out for Tiffany's and hospital visits. Doesn't even buy his own champagne anymore, the cases get delivered to his door, we have reason to believe Mr. Diamond is dying, and he's alone"

James? I wonder to myself, realizing we haven't heard from him in about 5 years, he invited us to his final gallery show last year but I was too busy working on a huge drug bust to leave town. Logan had talked to James, and he'd been in good health, but then, we only got calls on New Years and our birthdays I'd always just assumed it was the James Diamond brand of self-absorption. Brooke Diamond passed before my mother did and it caused a huge tabloid scandal that he didn't attend her funeral, I guess her apologies weren't as good as the others'? or it could have just been James being James, too emotional to leave the house and fly to Nevada, where Brooke made her cosmetics fortune after the divorce from her husband in '68.

Even her estranged ex-husband had earned his right to a funeral when he passed the year before.

"are you still there?" I ask into the phone.

"yes, I know this must be emotional of you, I've got plenty of time,please call me tomorrow, and If I assume correctly you and Mr. Logan Mitchell are married now as well?" she responds.

"yes Miss, Logan Mitchell and I are married"

"Satisfactory then, we'll be calling you both shortly" she says cheerfully.

"Miss, what is it you need from us?" I ask but the phone has already clicked.

**Author's Note: I'm sorry for the terribly depressing flashback contained in this chapter, and I really hope a lot of the backstory helped get some of my message was very much a backstory filled chapter, I wanted a nice way to fill my readers in on all the mis-happenings to those who lead glamorous happy lives in Palmwoods Springs. Thanks to my readers and reviewers, I've got over a thousand views on the story yesterday so I wrote this literally overnight [it's 7:48 am]. Anyway this is an emotional chapter and I got a little choked up writing it, sorry if this hits you right in the feels. **


	9. Chapter 9 Lying on a Fake Beach

**Author's Note: yep I was in the mood to write another Carlos chapter, I promise though this story is all about the Kames. Warning there may be tears. Trigger Warning: there is going to be some racism in this chapter and there is usage of slurs.**

Ch.9 Lying on a Fake Beach, You'll Never Get a Tan

Carlos

The last remnants of sunset were streaming through dark clouds, radiating wildly over the rough and choppy waves. I sat down on the sandy beach my shoes off, and my uniform undone, just my white undershirt and my blue pants, the shiny shoes had been left in the car to avoid scuffing them too bad on the sand. It had finally hit me that James was dying, and Logie and I would probably be the last ones left unless you counted Katie and while Katie had grown into a wise, mature, smart, and beautiful woman I wasn't so sure she could tell the story, at least not from James' point of view .

We were all slowly dying, and none of us had any children no one to carry the story on. I'm sitting on the beach behind The Diamond's House, and somewhat happy I can still call it that, the large looming replica of something like the Petit Trianon at Versailles behind me Mr. Diamond's present to his wife for something or other that no one not even Brooke Diamond could really remember. The house is huge and sprawling with fountains and gardens on the grounds. The houses here were far enough apart that the neighbors needed a car just to go ask for a cup of milk or a stick of butter. I smile slightly at the thought of Brooke Diamond getting in the family limo to ask the neighbor for a stick of butter or some sugar for a cake she was baking.

The clouds open and allow the sun in finally, I lay back and allow the sun to hit my face closing my eyes.

* * *

><p><em>The day had been sunny so far, just a warm late June day, I had just gotten out of the water after surfing, and laid down on my large beach towel. It's a glorious day, hot, and the sunlight glints off the ocean as it plays the most beautiful shade of navy blue. I stretch out on my towel and put my sunglasses over my eyes. I survey the scene around me. Mercedes Griffin is lounging on her own towel nearby under a large umbrella in a white swimsuit, and sunglasses, she's conversing in whispers to Camille Roberts, dramatic, and amazing friend of Logan's. <em>

_Logan is in the water for once leaving a medical book behind on his towel, James is trying to teach Logan how to surf, but he keeps falling off the board. I smile softly watching Logan try his hardest to actually stay on. James and Kendall are both trying to help now. _

_Camille turns to me smiling, " Carlos I didn't realize how good you were at surfing, you were really great out there" she says. _

_Mercedes apparently isn't so thrilled to have the attention off of her._

"_Camille you really shouldn't talk to a member of 'the help' like that, they might actually start thinking they're human" Mercedes sneer is pure evil and stabbing at my exposed chest._

_Mercedes is the daughter of Arthur Griffin, wealthy and famous for his live music themed TV show, directly in competition with Ed Sullivan. Griffin also owns several successful companies including a record producing company which seems to be his most successful venture. _

_Camille stares at her for a moment "Carlos isn't a member of the 'help', right Carlos" she smiles in my direction. I smile weakly back at Camille._

"_my father's very successful, and we don't need invitations to your little dinner parties when we can have our own and not deal with your whiteness complex" I respond and Camille gives me an apologetic look. Camille didn't really like Mercedes, they only hung out because their fathers were friends or something. Mercedes nearly falls over as she whips her sunglasses off fuming._

_Her tongue is poised between full pink lips. _

"_What is it with these animals in this country?" she asks loudly._

"_a few negroes get some laws passed and suddenly all of you colored folk think you own the damn place" she taunts loudly, "My daddy says where he comes from, if a colored boy even looked at a white woman in the eyes he'd be sorry" she spits on the sand._

_Camille looks shocked._

_My cheeks are red at this point. "of course I hear they don't do it here, we've got those artistic types like Kendall and James, and those rich intellectuals like Logan over there. And of course they want us to start believing a mutt like you is equal to me?" she raises a Marilyn- Monroe-perfect eyebrow, and her tongue darts out between her lips. _

"_Mercedes, ple..." Camille starts but is cut off_

"_Just because your dirty, Mexican-farm-girl-mother married some rich white guy doesn't make her, or you, anything better than shit" _

"_Mercedes, stop it, you're being cruel" Camille begs._

_It's Kendall's return to the shore that stops me from hitting Mercedes in her perfect plastic nose and dragging her by her bottle-blond hair across the beach. Kendall's towel is between mine and Camille's, after calming me down he turns to Mercedes. _

"_Mercedes, I would watch my mouth from now on if I were you" he threatened, a glare in his green eyes. _

"_or?" Mercedes tests, she always tests the limits._

"_or I'll have my father tell your father what I saw you and Jett Stetson doing on the golf course at the country club last Tuesday" Kendall's smile widens._

"_wouldn't want daddy to know about that right?" he adds with a wink.  
>Mercedes has a look of shock and hatred on her face. "Kendall Knight, you wouldn't!" she exclaims dramatically putting a hand to her bosom and clutching her pearl necklace .<em>

_Kendall smiles his goofy half smile "I would Mercedes, oh I would" I fall back on my beach towel in a fit of laughter and Kendall laughs for a little while too. _

_Mercedes, stands up, indignant at the deplorable treatment she's received at our hands, and no doubt we'd all get scolded for it by our mothers when we returned home. Mercedes moves further down the beach, far enough to be out of earshot of us and erects her umbrella, this time blocking our view of her. Kendall stretches out on his stomach and leans close to me._

"_hey Carlos can I talk to you about something?" Kendall asks, Camille stands up and goes to join Jo Taylor in the water. Jo was pretty, a lot of boys were jealous of Kendall for being the one to date her. Jo was cute, and a more modest prima donna than Mercedes, she was charming and known for her smile, and her kindness towards others. _

"_I'm scared Carlos" Kendall whispers his voice a rasp, his throat is dry._

"_what would you think if I told you something happened the other night, and it involved another boy" _

_My eyes widen, Straight boy Kendall? have sex with a boy? that couldn't happen._

_I smile my eyes going back to their normal size._

"_you slept with James?" I say quietly._

_Kendall bites his lip and nods a tiny bit. "we were drinking on the beach behind the house" Kendall says, he gestures over to a spot not too far away._

"_over there, on a big blanket" he finishes. _

"_I was just so entranced by the stars shimmering in his eyes, and the heat of the liquor, and then we were making skin contact" Kendall grinds into the sand a little. I put my hand up towards the sky "Okay bud, I did not need to see that!, I get the picture" I say loudly and firmly. _

_Kendall started to watch James again, long wet legs, he flipped his wet hair out of his eyes with a graceful flick of the head. _

"_he's beautiful Carlos, in a way that Jo could never compare" Kendall says, "from his sparkling hazel eyes to his long tan legs and cut muscles" Kendall smiles softly at James, staring off into the distance I spot Logan's pale form, coming out of the water, he shakes his dark hair out like a puppy and ocean drips down his alabaster form, before flashing a smile at Kendall and I, then goes over to talk to Camille. Kendall buries his face into his towel in frustration and lets out a scream muffled by the ground. I reach a hand over to touch his arm gently and he pulls it away._

"_what's wrong Kendall?" I ask _

_Kendall sits up "this is wrong, I shouldn't be feeling like ...him..." he's biting his lip roughly after he speaks. "my dad would kill me if he found out, I''m already not 'man enough' for him, I mean me and Jo don't exactly...do then James and I were just drunk and lonely and it just happened and Carlos, I think I'm a queer" there are tears of frustration in Kendall's eyes._

"_come on Kendall, do you think that it matters to me? or any of us other than Mercedes?" I ask._

"_just let Kendall be Kendall"_

* * *

><p>I sigh laying in the sand looking up at the sky, the Diamond house behind me as the clouds begin to come in and darken, finally obscuring the light, I hear steps behind me.<p>

"I thought you'd be out here" Logie's voice says.

I sit up and hug my knees to my chest. "I guess you got the call too huh?" I ask

Logie sits down next to me, takes my hand in his and nods. "are we going to do it?" Logie asks

I look into his eyes and nod, "this place, I can't explain it Logan, to see this city fall apart. we spent years of our life here, these abandoned mansions, people lived in them once, I met you here, and suddenly you wake up one morning, and wonder where all the magic went,and" I pause crying hard now "I don't want the magic to die with us"

Logan kisses my cheek, "lets get you home Carlos, you're going to get sick if you stay out here"


	10. Chapter 10 Fifty Dollars

Chapter 10 Fifty Dollars for the Powder Room

Kendall

_I'm laying on James' bed, the buttons of my shirt undone, my jeans popped open. James' warm tan skin brushes against mine, cool and milky white. His lips begin to touch mine. Inside I'm depressed, inside, I want to shove him off, ask him to stop for a while. Why can't we just talk?_

_One of his hands tangles in my hair while the other rubs up and down on my thigh, James kisses harder, rougher, the roughest kiss we've ever had. Teeth and lips crash together, there's blood though I'm not sure if it's mine or his, our tongues wrestle for dominance James needs dominance. I'm not going to give it to him. He pulls up for air, and when he returns I won't let him in. My hand tangles in his hair now and I begin to push away. _

"_James, I can't do this" I whisper as I begin to pull from underneath him I begin to button my shirt._

"_why is it the only thing we can ever do anymore, is go to a party or have sex?" I ask_

_James smirks "we drink together and sometimes we go surfing with the guys" he says with a little laugh._

"_It's not enough James, we never talk about anything, with you it's all parties and gossip, and then you get horny and you want to take advantage of me" I say_

_James tries to kiss me again, and put his arm around me _

" _Kendall, come on lay down and I'll suck you off. I'll let you cum first this time" James is smooth with his words._

_He tries to roll back on top of me, and I put a hand out to stop him, James is shirtless, and his jeans are unbuttoned. My hand pushes hard against his warm chest._

"_do you even like me James?" I ask him. The hurt shows through in my voice._

"_I'm falling for you over here, and all you want to do is get off, you're using me James, I feel like I'm just a toy for you to play with, some kind of doll to sit with you at the country club and gossip about Mercedes and people with their money, and when you get horny you play with my emotions" hot angry tears run down my cheeks. _

"_I'm not your whore James, I'm your friend, I like you. James Diamond listen to me" I stand up._

"_I'm your friend Kendall" he said "and I think you're cute when you're mad at me" _

_I was already pulling on my jacket, "that's your problem James, you think everything's funny, everything's cool, 'look at me I'm James Diamond, I'm going to have sex with Kendall Knight and drink, because that's all I care about is sex and drinking'" I'm almost yelling_

"_I do not!" James yells back, "I care about art, and clothes, and parties. Kendall you don't know me at all, you don't know what my life is like" _

"_that's right I don't know James, because you won't talk to me or anyone else, not about anything that's real, James this whole town. The money, the stupid money James. The clothes and the cars, cotillions and dinner parties. ALL OF THIS" I gesture to the house for emphasis "this is all an illusion James, and you can't hide your emotions like this forever, you need to let people in"_

"_I don't need anyone, I can take care of myself" James growls._

_I turn to walk away and he pounces on me, James shoves me against the wall next to the bed._

"_James Diamond, I love you" I cry out _

"_you're making a mistake Kendall, you should never love a wild thing"_

"_besides Kendall Knight, you need me. You were lost before I came around" James says_

"_no James, I don't need you, I've got Logan,Carlos, Camille, Jo, what do you have James? when everything begins to fall apart in this town all you'll have to hold on to is a bottle. and you'll sit in your Yves Saint Laurent, stinking like a giant Shalimar turd, you'll lock yourself up here while your whole world burns and die alone"_

_his grip on my shirt loosens and he steps back. _

"_James I want to help you, if you'd just let me in because I love you" I wiped the tears from my eyes._

"_well I don't love you Kendall, I don't fall in love" he said closing his eyes and turning away from me_

_I pull a crumpled fifty from my pocket, placing it in his hand._

"_what's this for?" he asks, he looks confused._

_I look him in the eyes, James betrays no emotions, he's stoic._

" _it's fifty dollars for the powder room" _


	11. Chapter 11

Ch.11 

James

The day of the engagement party comes quickly, I dress in a fresh pair of slim fitted grey pants and a black turtleneck sweater, finished with smart italian leather shoes. The car arrives to pick me up as usual and I put on my trusted pair of tortoiseshell sunglasses as I step outside and into the afternoon sun, I have a gift with me as well in a gift bag hanging from my left wrist.

I arrive at the venue about ten minutes late a smile on my face as I watch the other cars pulling up before stepping out of mine. The party is in a spectacular building near the harbor, the restaurant and lounge portion on one of the mid-level floors with large glass windows around the outer walls, running from floor to ceiling. From the street I can see the party going on, large balloons, candles lit in the center of white tablecloth covered tables, the guests are dressed chic and casual.

When I enter the room guests are chatting in small groups, Cindy comes over to introduce me to her fiance Brad and their families. Cindy's blonde hair is pulled back in an elegant french braid little butterflies clipped onto the braid in a casual scatter, she's wearing a deep blue dress, of a velvet material with three-quarter sleeves and a deep V shaped back, her earrings are the ones I gave her from Tiffany's.

"you look beautiful" I comment

She smiles lightly "I figured I'd wear the earrings you gave me"

"well the wouldn't look as good on anyone else" I say with a smile

Brad extends his hand for me to shake it "good to meet you , my father was actually a big fan of your art back in the day"

I began to glow again like I haven't in years, meeting new people and flitting between conversations with a glass of champagne in my hand for the rest of the evening.

I enjoy being around people. The evening passes well, and as it gets late I sit staring out upon the harbor. Cindy comes over to me as I sip from a cup of coffee.

"everyone's leaving " she says softly

I nod "thank you for having me this evening" I say with a light smile.

"goodnight, take care of yourself" she says as she exits the room, the cleaning crew is beginning to arrive and dismantle things, though a few guests linger.

_I'm standing on the beach behind my house, it's dark as though a storm is setting in._

_I haven't left my bedroom in weeks, there have been calls from Logan and Carlos, Camille and Mercedes as well. I look out at the great pacific ocean, my shirt clings to my body as the wind blows through it. My eyes water slightly as I hear a shuffling in the sand behind me._

"_your mother said you'd be here" a voice says softly...Logan._

_I look over and see Logan holding a blanket in his arms, he comes close to me and tosses the blanket around my shoulders._

"_It's going to storm soon" I say, my voice is flat and monotone._

_Logan nods and stands next to me._

"_James, I just want you know no one hates you" he starts. "Kendall might be hurt but he doesn't hate you" Logan puts his hand close to mine but doesn't touch me._

"_your mom talked to me, and I'm not sure what happened, but something made you afraid"_

"_stop it Logie, you know nothing about my life" I say, my voice turns cold._

_Logan's hand touches mine, "James, you're afraid to let anyone care about you"_

"_and you can sit around and pretend everything's fine James, but we all know there's something wrong James, you need to talk to us, let us in, because you're acting like everything's a party and you can just use Kendall as your toy and be an asshole to everyone" Logan's voice cracked._

"_you know we've all known about Kendall for a while, I see the way he looks at you. Kendall is gay James, and don't you dare tell me you're not." Logan said _

"_and everyone wants to help you, see you get better, you know a lot of research hasn't been done but I've been reading about mood disorders" _

"_I'm not crazy Logan Mitchell." I snap "I'm just an asshole"_

_Logan shakes his head "no one said you're crazy, you just need someone to talk to"_

_I sigh frustratedly, " Kendall wants to see you again, give him a call and take him out on a real date" Logan suggests "maybe if you open up to him it'll change things"_

_Logan turns to walk away, " he misses you James" Logan says, then he walks away into the house and I hear his car start a little while later._


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Kendall

_It's been two weeks since my fight with James, I haven't heard from him. I'm sitting in my room, on the bed I'm wearing flannel pajama bottoms and a Rolling Stones tee shirt. _

_Jo left hours ago, I'm the only one still awake. _

_My room is pretty much dark, a bit smaller than James' and decorated differently, my mom's taste was more sleek and modern compared to the ostentatious over-ornamentation of the Diamonds' mansion. We've got wall to wall white carpet, with sleek and clean lines on everything, and dark leather inside. My bed has a white leather headboard and rock and roll posters paper the walls. _

_My long fingers play over the strings of Alice my favorite guitar, I called her Alice because once I'd been careless and dropped her, he resulting scratch on the back of her elegant neck looked like a letter 'A'. I'm strumming lightly a pen and paper next to me. _

_The breeze blows through my open window, cool and lightly salted even though we're on the inland side of town. My blonde hair falls in my eyes, I'd been keeping it a bit longer than usual, golden colored strands hide my tears as they fall._

"_why do I love him so much?" I think to myself._

_The curtains flutter about the open window as I resume my playing quietly._

_Knock-Knock. _

_There's a sound by the door, and I shuffle to put the guitar aside and pretend to lay down in my bed._

"_come in" I say with a pretend cough._

_My father walks in and sits down on the bed._

"_you sure you're alright Kendall?" he asks a certain look in his eyes, the kind he gets when he's drunk and he wants to do some 'deep thinking' or something._

_I nod "I don't need the doctor, just a little under the weather, stress maybe?" I lie._

"_you didn't get her pregnant did you?" he asks with a sneer._

_He's always commenting on my sex life with Jo, I shake my head,_

"_no, mom would have a heart attack, and you'd open another bottle" I say_

_he shakes his head. "at least I'd be relieved to know you were giving it to a girl" he says_

_I get uncomfortable, my Dad's obsessed with my sexuality, wants to make sure his boy's straight enough and man enough. _

"_why did you come up here anyway?" I ask _

_He narrows his eyes "I thought I heard that guitar" _

_as far as he knows I gave it up when I was fifteen._

"_Dad, what if I want to pick it up again?" I ask_

"_you know maybe I thought I'd play again" I say._

"_you promised us you wouldn't" Dad says _

"_You haven't since you were fifteen, since when is hockey not enough, we put all that money on your hockey playing in school, and now you'll be able to go to college on a scholarship for it come the fall" _

"_Dad I love hockey, but I've always loved music more" I say "besides you liked my playing when I was eleven" _

"_that was before you turned thirteen and started hanging out with all of those queer boys who kept their hair long and all of that hippie nonsense" Dad disapproves_

" _and then I went back to Logan and Carlos, and trying to beat Jett Stetson out for Hockey Captain and you love me again" I say with a sigh_

"_it's your mother's fault, she babied you too much" Dad grumbles then stands and leaves._

_I return to my guitar as soon as the door shuts behind him._

_That's the way my dad was, he was obsessed with me being man enough, and giving 'it' to girls,_

_and making sure I didn't run off and start a rock band behind his back._


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13 Fly Me To The Moon

Carlos  
><span>

Logan's hand rubbed up and down my calf I was laying down on the couch in our house. Logan was sitting up and his laptop sat on his lap, he was doing something I couldn't see.

I lay on the couch with my head on the arm, and my legs curled up on the couch, Logan sat near my feet rubbing my leg through my sweatpants. Logan had cooked dinner for us both earlier, he made Enchiladas like my mother used to. I'm deep in thought, and I like moments like this when it's not about words, just the love between us flowing like electricity through wires.

Logan kisses my hand softly and lays down behind me, I fall into a deep sleep.

It's early in the morning when I feel Logan's lips against my ear.

"wake up Carlos" he whispers, I look around sleepily and rub my eyes.

"what's going on?" I ask "what time is it?"

I stretch and stand up, Logan's dressed already.

"I've got the coffee on go get a shower and get dressed" Logan says.

I nod and walk towards the bathroom, sleepily noticing that there are two suitcases packed near the door to the house.

I shower and change clothes quickly, come down to a cup of coffee in a paper travel mug, made just as I like it. Logan grabs our bags and a taxi honks from the driveway.

"Okay Carlos, here's what's going on" Logan began,

"James is really really sick, and I just can't stand the thought of him being alone right now, and this interviewer lady is probably bugging the hell out of him, and he needs his friends. Kendall would have wanted us to be there for James to comfort him, and we have to stop this not talking about things, cards for birthdays, anniversaries, a visit every few years, phone calls every six months, it's ridiculous." Logan's cute little mouth moves a mile a minute as we walk to the taxi and the driver helps to load our bags in the trunk.

"so we're going off to New York to be with James" I reply with a big smile.

"Logan you are the most amazing person on the face of this planet" I added before leaning over and wrapping my arms around him hugging him close.

The plane takes off while it's still dark, we'll be in New York sometime when the sun is up for them. I lay back in the seat take a glance at Logan and Fall asleep again.

_Logan and I were friends from the very day I moved into Palmwoods Springs I was eleven then, and Logan had always been friendly with everyone. His family lived near us, and he'd been out on the beach reading in the sand, snacking on carrot sticks. He had braces on his teeth then, and I'd been running up and down the beach looking for a friend and he invited me to sit down with him and we'd ended the day swimming and playing Volleyball with Kendall. _

_When Kendall had come out to me that day on the beach, about loving James I'd realized I wasn't alone in my feelings for another guy, and silently pursued Logan. We'd spent every moment together, surfing, hockey, shopping, even at the parties. _

_There was a ball being held at the Country Club, about a month after James and Kendall's fight, I remember it fondly, James had kept to himself for a while but he showed up and was waiting at a table watching the room for Kendall, he seemed normal, talked to me and Logan. _

_Logan looked so beautiful that night and I smiled and invited him out into the garden, He met me among the lantern lights around a fountain obscured by shrubs, and I knelt down and confessed my heart to him. He blushed a huge smile crossing his face when he moved his lips close to mine and kissed me. We kissed for the first time that night. But it couldn't all be hearts and flowers, for no sooner had we pulled apart a figure came crashing down between us._

_Kendall... "he's here, James he's inside, I have to hide" Kendall was panicing out loud._

_I took Kendall by the arm, and helped him from his knees where he'd fallen near the fountain._

" _No Kendall, you have to face him, if you fear him, you only give him more power over you" Logan piped up, I nodded._

"_besides I think he might be ready to change and make things right for you guys" I said_

_We both hugged Kendall and sent him back inside. _

_I remembered Logan and I sleeping together out on the beach after returning home, the crescent shaped moon high in the sky above us._

The plane lands on the runway in New York, and we manage to hail a cab, Logan had kept the most recent of James' anniversary cards with the return address on the envelope, he'd lived in the same place for 20 years and we knew where it was.

James manages to buzz us through the door to his building and he comes down the stairs, almost running to greet us with excited hugs.

"Carlos, Logan, oh how much I've missed you guys! " he exclaims

"it's been too long buddy" Logan said, "we're here now though, I'm glad to see you"

I hug him again, " so we heard you don't go out anymore, how about we have dinner somewhere nice tonight and see a show," I suggest

James smiles, and shows us to the spare bedroom and into the apartment, he makes coffee and puts a couple of bagels in the toaster.

" so what's new and exciting?" James asks

Logan looks at me, " well most of the houses in Palmwoods Springs are in forclosure, and the beaches are erroding rapidly..." he goes on with technical talk about the delicate ecosystem rapidly falling apart due to human contaminants to the land back in the 1960s

"my house?" James asks "what about my parents' house?"

I smile "well James it's still there, Kendall's is too, the only houses left standing in good condition"

Logan looks up "we expect the seawater, to be at your doorstep within a year, two at the most" there's a glimmer of a tear in Logan's eyes.

James sinks deeper into his chair, "do we have to go out? tonight? couldn't we just watch a movie here or something? I can order dinner?" James speaks nervously.

Logan pipes up "I brought the old slide projector reels, I know you've probably still got your projector"

James looks down at Logan with sad sad eyes, "you think I need to be reminded, of...of him?" James starts to cry, "it's not enough that I can't go a minute without thinking about what we had, it's been years and years and still there's nothing I can do to forget" James folds his arms and glares at us " I wish I could erase all my memories of him, so they can no longer hurt anymore, it's alright, the doctors have given me less than a year, I can join him soon enough" James whimpers and dries his eyes, before retreating to his bedroom.

We wait a while and sit quietly in James house, Logan decides to do some grocery shopping and we stock his fridge. The sun sets on the horizon and a few hours later James stirs from his bed, he's dressed in a lavender shirt with french cuffs, and a fashionable navy suit.

"well guys, how's about dinner, and I believe I've been invited to an event at the Museum of Modern Art this evening, it's only eight and the night is still young" James smiles


	14. Chapter 14

Ch.14

Kendall

_Over the weeks following the party where James and I had reconciled we were inseparable. Family dinners for my family, included his family and we had taken to sleeping at each others' houses as often as possible._

_James eyes glitter in the lights across the table, as his parents stand up to leave._

"_James are you ready to go?" Brooke Diamond asks softly,_

_James shook his head "no I'll stay here, I've got my car I'll drive home later" he replies_

_The Diamonds thank my parents for a wonderful dinner and exit the house. _

_James' hand rests on mine under the table, he leans over to whisper in my ear, _

" _are you going to tell them?" he whispers and I shrug him off and nod_

_My family still sits around the table, the dessert course is nearly over, and the other guests are gone already, Mom sips her tea and Dad is indulging in a cigarette, absentmindedly._

_I clear my throat, "Dad we have to talk about something, for the fall." I begin._

" _I decided I'm not going to Dartmouth, I'm going to art school in New York" I pause " with James, the most prestigious art school in the country" I finish nervously._

_Dad's mouth flies open, Mom averts her eyes nervously and clasps her hands together pursing her lips tightly. _

"_What. Did. You. Say?" Dad's eyes stare coldly through me _

" _James parents are flying him there for an entrance exam, I can take the exam and if I can pass the audition I can study music, they're offering me a scholarship for my grades" I say_

_Dad gets angry, a dish is sent flying and hits the wall over my head. " no son of mine is going to be studying music, you'll go to Dartmouth and study law like we planned" he growls._

_Dad stands and removes his belt, I'm beginning to shake, _

"_and if I won't go?" I question fearfully just before he throws my chair to the floor. _

"_Then you'll enlist in the military and pray to god that you die in combat" Dad sneers and raises his arm to hit me._

_James leaps up in a fury and aims a punch at my father hitting him in the jaw, I'm too scared to move from the wrestle for a few moments, my mother is crying Katie is screaming at Dad to stop. My Dad takes a few swings at James with the belt and James grabs the end of it, the red mark spreading across the back of his tanned hand, he pulls and he won't let go of the belt._

"_don't you ever come after Kendall like that again!" James roars "I swear, if you touch him again I'll kill you! Asshole!" James finally frees the belt from my Dad's grip and throws it to the floor._

_My Mom stands and gently puts her hand on James' arm, "I-I think it's time for you to go, I don't think you should come back for a while" she says softly, a maid returned with James' coat, I stand up off the floor and walk with him and Mom to the door. Mom stands in the hallway behind the both of us and she takes James by the hand._

"_I-I'm sorry you had to see that, his father's always been hard on him, he had an older brother who died in a car accident in high school years ago, Kendall's brother was going to be a lawyer and go to Dartmouth, his father was never really the same after that" Mom whispers to James, but I know that the abuse happened even when he was alive, my brother protected me from our Father every night. "he drinks too much" My mom speaks in a mousy squeak of a whisper. James takes my hand and kisses it lightly,_

_ "Mrs. Knight I'm in love with Kendall" he says softly a little flicker in the dim hall lights making fireworks in his eyes. " I would never hit your son, my parents have extra room if It's okay with you, for a few nights?" James says quietly and my heart melts slightly, something inside me breaks for him, I didn't tell him about the abuse or my Dad's drinking, I didn't want him to leave me for not being strong enough. _

_Mom sighs, " only tonight, but I'll send Kendall over when HE passes out on the couch" she says embracing James, I hug James and step back, Mom kisses him on the cheek._

"_and one more thing" Mom adds, "I'm okay with this arrangement between you two, but I have a few rules. Under no circumstances should you allow yourself to be caught 'in the act' under this roof, His Father will kill him. Also if you by your indiscretion allow society to talk about you or my Son you will not be allowed to see him"._

_ James clasps her hand " I love him, I'll keep him safe"_

Present Day

I sit on the couch in my old bedroom in Palmwoods Springs, The grandchildren of a Housekeeper of ours has been maintaining it since my family moved away, my mother died years ago and my Father I've heard has been in a psychiatric facility since the 90s' a terrible case of alzheimers. I drink a little bit of coffee from a mug, staring around at tattered wallpaper. The floors are covered with a load of dust and the water outside seems higher than ever before. The fountains in my mother's beloved garden are covered in vines and dirty water. This place is crumbling, I feel the walls around me closing in.


End file.
